The 4 C's of BDSM for Greater Intimacy

If you are looking to improve communication, trust & intimacy in your relationship, then these four tips from BDSM will help you greatly. Check them out in this article.

Be always open-minded in life to learn positive things that can help you in improving yourself, your relationships and your awareness. Most people are too closed off in life and live in a comfort zone where only 'familiarity' exists and beyond that, they want nothing to do with expanding their awareness - so they are scared of BDSM and the crowd that practices it.

This is also because of the myths, lies and the misinformation surrounding BDSM and add to it the damage 50 Shades of Grey has done to this community - BDSM is NOT about beating your lover to death and making them cry!

NO. Not even a bit!

Just like Tantra, BDSM is a 'sexual school' of its own - though not for everyone, it is still transformative and healing for those who practice it.

Yes - there are degrees of intensity to it from some 'acts' that are beautifully profound to those that are really extreme but nevertheless, whether you practice it or not, it is always good to learn something new especially if that thing is positive and can add value to your life in some shape or form.

So today in this article we are going to talk about the 4 C's of BDSM that can help improve your communication skills, intimacy with your partner and build deeper trust, not just in the bedroom but also in your overall interaction with each other. 

But first I would like to clear some things...you can take heed or ignore the guidance listed below but I have to do my work ethically, honestly and with full responsibility and BDSM is such topic that requires clear communication (always) and clear guidelines. So, here I go...

Since I am the writer of this blog and my intention is always to empower my group, it is MY wish, my guidance and my responsibility to write that BDSM is NOT -

-for those who are in the one-night-stand crowd/casual sex

-people dealing with sex addiction or still on their healing journey (but have yet not healed fully)

-those that have loose, instable relationships (only sex but nothing else is there - no strong roots, values and no strong emotional & mental connection - in other words, the relationship is always rocky and toxic)

-those who are currently healing from their sexual trauma/sexual abuse

-those that have just started a healthy, serious, pure, ethical, responsible, sacred relationship (have found their true soulmate) but still should take time to continue to build deeper connection and trust with each other first and wait to bring BDSM in later.....as in, much later.

BDSM requires exceptional level of trust, respect, safety and vulnerability between two partners - it is NOT vanilla sex for a reason and not as easy as Tantra either. In fact, without high levels of trust and safety with the partner, one cannot even enjoy it.

Here are 4 C's of BDSM that we can all cultivate in our relationships - in fact, true, real, authentic BDSM does NOT exist without these 4 C's.

The 4 C's of BDSM for Better Communication & Intimacy - 

-Consent - Both partners must consent to what they want in the bedroom. This is not implied consent - this is clear talks and lots of clear, straight to the point boundaries before beginning.

-Communication - Talk! Talk! Talk! Ask questions and take interest in learning about each other. Be curious and listen to your partner and let them take interest in you. Let your partner ask questions too and learn about you; communication is KEY to real intimacy and this applies in the bedroom too.

People have different desires, wants, needs and different limits in the bedroom - discuss them clearly and let the partner know when to draw the line. Clarity, trust and transparency are highly valued in BDSM

-Caution - Caution is all about flexibility and variation and it implies willingness to adapt to your partner's need for feeling safe in the act. By communicating actively with your partner, you will be able to tell what you like or not or when it is getting too intense for you and you need to stop or take a break.

Everything must be done with respect and caution. Make key words for when you feel something is getting too risky and needs to be slowed down (as in, proceed with caution) or stopped completely. 

-Care - Most of all, you must care about the person who you are sharing your mind, body and Soul with and this one aspect alone will bring in the remaining first three C's.

Even then, we can all just learn to listen and care for others - allow them to express who they are, why they do the things that they do and what they like or don't like - because at the end of the day, sexuality is a highly complex and a very private topic of extreme taboo so care is a 'must' between both partners.
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