Three Powerful Ways to Deepen Intimacy

How do we keep our most important relationship strong in midst of life's demands? Check out these 3 points that will help you to focus on what matters most and deepen your bond.

If we want to talk about health and preventing diseases, let's start with balancing our relationships first - so that no matter what happens in life, we all have someone to catch our back and we have healthy, thriving relationships where there is close intimacy and harmony between us and the other person. With harmonious, flourishing relationships, we can manage our stress better and have better coping skills due to the support of our partner.

In fact, the main reason I launched this new section - Sex & Intimacy is because it directly relates to our overall health. So, let's dive into today's topic on how to manage our most important relationship in midst of life's busy demands, hectic schedules and many distractions. 

1. Boosting Intimacy with 'We versus Problem' - Not 'I versus You!'

Since today's topic focused on intimacy, one of the MAIN reasons why couples lose desire for each other is because of lack of emotional and mental connection. This can occur when fights, constant bickering, disharmony, lack of trust, feelings of disrespect and ultimately, problems that are piled up "under the rug" get bigger and bigger, but never solved or talked about for fear of escalating fights and insults.

This problem can become like a giant monster between two lovers until addressed. This can be easily resolved and this starts with effective, solution based, blame-less, problem solving skills.

Being on the same team and then approaching the issue is the KEY to making any relationship work. When we look at how our grandparents and great-grandparents made their relationships work and keep the harmony, you will notice that they tackled the problem - not each other. That generation and those before them knew what we all have forgotten - thus adding more stress, diseases, miscommunication, high divorce rate and feelings of being unheard and lost between us and the other person.

Key Points -

• Do you consider yourself to be on the same team as your partner/spouse?

 

• When some problem comes, how do you sit down and resolve it? How do you make it work? Or, is it more like, "you did this..you did that...you can't make time...you said this...you didn't do this.."  and so on..?

 

• Or, is it - "Well...let's see how we both can make this work..? How can we both find more time..how can we both communicate better..how can we both have more free time to spend with each other..how can we both reduce our stress so we can have more intimacy in our lives and feel closer...etc.".

 

• Do you approach your partner/spouse with compassion or do you attack them? All of us have moments when we are stretched too thin - fair enough, but we can practice patience and compassion starting today. Just saying calming, soothing words to the other person when they are struggling or stretched to the maximum like,​

"I understand you are going through a lot...don't worry...we will work it out.." can mean the world's difference to the other person at that time of extreme stress and challenges.

And when it's your time and you are in need of some love and understanding, your partner will be happy to give you the same - just like you did for them. If next time some problem comes up between you and your partner (or anyone) and if you can then just take a moment to remember this approach, your approach will change.

By remaining centered, peaceful and understanding, you are showing greater emotional maturity and resilience. It is just a matter of time before you both solve the problem and start becoming a very close and powerful team together!

​We all need to go back to the basics - from what we eat to how we relate to others in our relationships, we all need to go back to our roots and learn from our ancestors and see how they dealt with issues and how they had great health and healthy relationships throughout their lives.
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2. Dinner for Two! - Prioritizing Your Partner

Lives are getting busier (or are they really?!) and we give our time to things that really don't serve us much in either short or long-term - internet, cellphones, games, gadgets, useless movies, cheap reality shows, shopping and consumerism and fake, artificial shallow conversations are all robbing us of true love. By our choice - we give away our most precious resources - time and energy, to useless things most of the time.

In between life's necessary responsibilities and the time that we spend mindlessly, are those that matter to us and we start losing them slowly by slowly - it is because of the lack of prioritizing your Life and the person that matters most to you - your partner/spouse.

During holidays, it is easy to go out shopping and to eat out with friends and family and in turn, in midst of all that hosh-posh, it is easy to forget your partner. It is easy to forget their needs and that they need our time, love and attention too.

One way to prioritize your partner is by having a romantic dinner just for the two of you - be it fine dining or a cozy set-up at home by the fireplace or a mini getaway to a small cruise or a hotel, life becomes full of magic when we take the time to nurture and connect with those that we truly love and care for.

It is important to go on regular dates - even if you are married, you must make time to take your spouse alone for a date often to keep the chemistry alive and the connection - emotional and mental intimacy, strong in your relationship.

Relationships become magical when they have a balanced mix of both regular mundane moments as well as something special once in a while like fine dining. You (and your partner) work hard and so it's time to pamper yourself and your Beloved - dress up, reserve a warm spot in a fine restaurant and it's time to surprise your lover with a date for just the two of you!

Candles...fireplace...good food...wine...chocolates...cozy ambience...dim lights...sensual music...what better gift can you give your partner this holiday season than your undivided attention and love?

Don't ever forget to prioritize your partner as your first priority - don't let them ever doubt how much they matter to you.

"Love and Doubt have never been on speaking terms." - Khalil Gibran

THIS is called 'prioritizing your Love' - just dinner-for-two, plz.! 💕

Photo Credit - HERE 

​3. Showing Up for Your Love for Lasting Intimacy

To create true intimacy and desire in a relationship, both the partners must be willing to show up 100% - through thick and thin, be there for each other and this starts with finding someone with that high level of maturity; finding someone that has 'staying power' - they stay when things get tough and are there for you 100%; they show up.

Love is an overrated word - it is 'understanding' that we all are looking for and yearning to find in someone. When we find someone who we can talk to openly, who we can cry with and who understands us to our deepest core, we light up and start showing up differently in the world. When we can take off our masks and just be ourselves - open, raw and vulnerable with our special someone, we feel loved, heard and seen for who we really are, often for the first time in our lives - we feel understood and safe in the presence of that special someone.

When we are held in that safe space by our lover and our heart is touched with their gentleness, we can then let go of our thick walls and surrender to the sacredness of true love.

THIS is the key to creating true everlasting sexual chemistry, true intimacy and deep longing for one another - the best gift you can give to your partner is to show up for them 100% and be their 'safe space' through thick and thin.
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"May you attract someone who speaks your language so you don't have to spend a lifetime translating your Soul". -Anonymous 💖
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-Somyata