In Tantra, the lingam massage refers to the massage of the penis and the areas around the male penis. This article details the spiritual and the sexual aspects of the lingam massage.
Lingam massage is NOT a 15 or 20 minutes handjob and done - lingam massage is an hour to three hour ordeal and the main purpose of lingam massage is to help the man release his stored trauma in his body and his...lingam.
As we now know that our body has its own memory and that it stores every experience or incident as memory that happens to it so is the case with the purpose of the lingam massage - it is to help the man release stored pain and trauma especially related to his sexual organs like sexual abuse, incest, rape and sexual assault.
When given by a loving partner, wife/girlfriend, spouse - lingam massage is even more effective because it allows the man to just relax, to surrender and to be vulnerable.
The healing gentle touch of a true loving partner is second to none - it can bring feelings of safety and love to the man during the lingam massage - thus allowing the raw suppressed emotions to come up easily during the lingam massage and allowing the healing to take place in his mind, body and Soul.
In this very detailed article, you will find points like -
-the meaning of lingam and history of lingam
-why lingam massage matters and what is its true purpose
-how to give your man the proper lingam massage that goes on for 2-3 hours..
-how to help him cope with the emotions that may come up and how to allow space for healing to take place
-how to allow that safe space for him to be vulnerable and to talk about his trauma..
-your role as a giver during the lingam massage as a healer, listener, supporter and the ultimate source of love and 'safe space' for your man.
History of 'Lingam' -
Lingam is a beautiful Sanskrit word meaning male penis and lingam massage is just that - massaging the penis. But unlike the typical hand job, lingam massage is not all about achieving an orgasm.
In Tantra, the sexual energy is considered the universal life force (sexual energy - 'chi') and sexual energy is considered to be of the highest order so it only makes sense that the lingam massage is not like a typical hand job for a man - it is more spiritually inclined with mindfulness, love, respect and healing been given the top priorities.
In India, no matter where you travel, you will see a symbol of lingam in almost all temples (look at the pic above - that is a picture of lingam symbol in Indian Hindu temples).
Shiva is the God who represents cosmic divine energy and the lingam in the temples is the God Shiva's lingam. The lingam represents the awakened state of God Shiva and this is why it is in union with the yoni (Parvathi, Shakti).
Lingam is a Sanskrit word and is also called as linga in Hinduism.
Lingam Massage Benefits -
-rotating the man's sexual energy to the above chakras
-releasing sexual trauma that may be stored in the man's lingam's memory
-lingam massage especially when done with oils helps in increasing sensitivity and sexual pleasure. It also creates healthy blood flow to the lingam area and helps with increasing the man's sexual stamina. May also help men who suffer from erectile dysfunction (ED).
-lingam massage is all about creating the meditative experience for experiencing bliss and pleasure - awakening a man's spirituality by harnessing the power of his sexual energy and learning to use his sexual energy the right way
-when given by a partner (or even when done solo), lingam massage is all about giving love, respect and reverence to a man's lingam (just the way we women want our yoni or breasts to be treated)
-lingam massage is a very transformative experience for both the receiver and the giver - when done regularly (about 2-3 times per month), it can bring immense healing to the man and at the same time bring the couple much closer than ever before
-at the end, lingam massage is all about honoring the man's lingam for the divine source of pleasure it is and the spiritual energy it possesses.
Lingam Massage Points -
Lingam massage covers massaging the following points - penis and all parts of it (top, under and tip of the penis), testicles, prostate (also called as the Sacred Spot) and the perineum (the area between the anus and the scrotum).
How To Give A Lingam Massage -
1. Have him lie down and relax - The first step in giving a lingam massage is to get the receiver to lie down and relax. You may also place some pillows under the receiver's hips if they like. You may sit down between his legs to give the lingam massage. Have some candles or light-scented incense ready, clean towels and dim the lights. You may play some Tantric sensual music if the receiver likes.
2. Start with some breathing exercises - This part is super important in Tantra and extends to Tantric intimacy sessions as well between the couples. Breath work should be done by both the partners before proceeding with the massage.
Tip - Before making him lie down, you can both do breath work together by sitting face to face first.
Both partners can sit down face-to-face and put hands on each other's hearts while doing some breath work together. This will help you both align with each other energetically while letting go of all the tension and negative thoughts so that you both can connect with each other from your heart space.
3. Lubricate the penis and the areas around it with oils - Lubricating the entire area is very important as without oils it can cause a lot of friction and pain for the man. The best oil to use for lingam massage is coconut oil as it is light yet emollient enough for the massage plus it is arousing for men so use little bit of coconut oil when massaging his lingam. Don't use too much because it will become too slippery and will not be arousing for the man.
4. Massage first on other parts of the body - Start your massage with other areas of his body like inner and outer thighs, lower abdomen, legs, feet and then upwards to arms, shoulders and back and then ending with the hips. Massage slowly because ideally lingam massage should take between an hour to two or more.
5. Massaging near the lingam - Now, once he is fully relaxed and once you have massaged all the other areas, it is time to move closer to his lingam - massage the testicles very gently and then move to the perineum. You may also (with his permission, of course!) massage his anus and then inside for the prostate massage.
(Tip: Learn prostate massage by watching some educational YouTube videos or reading about it first - you need to be gentle when inserting your finger inside his anus to reach the prostate - be gentle and careful).
6. Massaging his lingam - Finally, you will massage his lingam with your juicy, soft wet hands - use oils when massaging his lingam so take a few drops into your palms again and then proceed. Start from the bottom of his shaft with gentle strokes up and down, alternating between using your palms and fingers, finishing with moving upwards towards the top of the penis - massage the head and the tip with gentle circular motions.
7. Practice edging - If he is about to orgasm, practice edging - move the focus of the massage to other parts of the body again and then slowly build up the tension to prolong the massage. Continue with all the above points once again until he is ready to release the sexual tension fully.
If You Are Giving Lingam Massage to Your Man -
Giving a lingam massage can be an act of love towards your partner - use warm sensual oils, place some candles or incense to create the right meditative spiritual ambience and you may play some Tantric music to add to this gift of love for your man.
-Take your time when massaging your man's lingam; this is not about rushing and releasing - rather it is about connecting deeply with your man and letting him feel safe, loved, respected and held in this sacred space by you!
-Make sure to massage his whole body as well as the back and the areas around his lingam - taking time to massage his whole body will get him into a relaxed mode so that he will be able to enjoy the experience even more.
-If your man gets too aroused, then practice edging - focus on other areas to delay his orgasm and try to prolong the lingam massage as long as possible.
-As you go through the massage ask questions like, "Are you enjoying this point?" or "Is this much pressure good for you?" or "What more would you like me to do?" or "What should I do more of?" and so on so that the receiver feels heard and respected by you.
-If while giving lingam massage, your man experiences emotions and feelings that may come up that are traumatic and/or related to his sexual trauma, sexual abuse, past wounds and childhood pains, then the best gift you can give him is to allow him to feel safe and vulnerable in this moment with you. Let him go through his emotions while you give him your undivided love and attention and a calm, gentle listening ear.
-Don't ever say, "You are a grown man! You should not cry!" or "It's time to get over this.!". NO. Treat a man like you would want to be treated when you are in pain. Period.
-Last but not least, do not bring up your pains, your sexual trauma, childhood wounds, etc. at this time - NO. This moment is all about him - not about you. Give him that respect to awaken through your healing energy - give him lingam massage to allow him space and time to heal through his pains, to help him release his sexual trauma and to deeply connect with his lingam in a new spiritual reverent way.
Ref. (1). Ref. (2)
Photo Credit - HERE