Yoni Massage - Step By Step Guide

Yoni massage means massaging the vagina. Yoni massage has many health benefits - from releasing tension to being a transformative intimate experience or self-love ritual.

In the esoteric tradition of Tantra - developed in India from Hinduism & Buddhism, yoni is considered as a sacred space, a birthplace of all life and as a goddess. In Sanskrit, yoni means the "source" or "origin" or the "supreme energy" - hence inviting life in and being the canal of energy exchange and birth.

What is Yoni Massage?

Yoni massage is a Tantric practice where the vagina is massaged for a long time with oils to relax, and deepen the connection within. Yoni massage is not exclusively a sexual experience - it is more of a spiritual experience that helps to awaken, transform and heal the person receiving the yoni massage.

Benefits of Yoni Massage?

The benefits of yoni massage are -

-releases tension and stress from the vaginal muscles

-releases sexual trauma and feeling of shame, guilt, fear of intimacy, and touch.

-supports mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual health

-if given by your man or partner, then yoni massage can greatly help in improving emotional and sexual intimacy, trust, connection and feelings of harmony with your partner. It will help bring you both closer to each other. 

-many women have never experienced an orgasm in their entire life or struggle to get sexually aroused. Yoni massage connects you deeply with your mental, emotional, sexual, psychological and spiritual well-being and this often results with healthy orgasms and heightened sexual pleasure in your intimate life.

-Yoni massages are also great for enhancing fertility

-regular yoni massages will help you as a woman to increase your orgasmic capabilities and will help create longer lasting, stronger, deeply satisfying orgasms

-regular yoni massages will help increase the sensitivity in your vaginal tissues, thus creating more pleasurable sensations during your intimate time. This is because as you massage your genitals, you increase circulation and as the blood flow increases, so does your sensitivity which ultimately leads to heightened pleasure and better orgasms

-the same principle of greater blood flow will help you self-lubricate! Very important point for so many women who suffer from vaginal dryness and lack of lubrication during intimacy.

-orgasms are NOT the end goal of yoni massage but can be if you decide to release the 'sexual tension' at the end

How To Do Yoni Massage (Step by Step Guide) -

As I noted, yoni massage is more of a spiritual practice - not exclusively sexual. Yoni massage starts with some sacred rituals so let's talk about them here.

​In the realm of Tantra, making time to care for your yoni is similar to caring for a goddess. So, the end goal is NOT orgasm - it is to connect deeply with yourself (and your partner).

Here are the points, step by step that will help you (and your man/partner) prepare for deeply enriching yoni massage experience -

Step 1 - Sacred Rituals & Setting The Space & Intention

1. Creating the Sacred Space - The first step in getting ready for a yoni massage is to create that sacred space. This is done by making sure you have some clean bedsheets, some towels for the session, a comfortable pillow and just the right ambience. 

Putting some relaxing and/or sensual music will really heighten your pleasure during the massage session because it will allow you to relax and get you into the mood.

Light some candles and close out all artificial lights - let the room be dark and dim, but let the candlelight be enough that you and your partner can see each other and enjoy the connection. 

Turn off ALL electronic gadgets - no cell phones, no laptops, no tv, etc. - nothing. Such a beautiful sacred experience deserves undivided attention.

Last but not least, enjoy some wine as it will help you relax even more - thus creating an even more deeply sensual experience (the more you relax, the more you can enjoy).

2. Create an Intention - Creating an intention before a yoni massage session is a powerful practice that will help guide the experience of the massage.

What do you wish to achieve out of this? What is your intention?

Is it better orgasms down the road?
Is it to release sexual trauma and find healing?
Is it to connect more deeply with your partner and delve into much deeper emotional, sexual and spiritual intimacy with him? 

Is it all of these and more? Discuss them with your partner and then start the massage - it will really help bring both of you closer. 

Opening up in that time and space with your most intimate partner-in-life is THE epitome of true love and the greatest gift in life. 

3. Meditation and/or Breathing Exercises - In Tantra, sexual pleasure always starts with deep breathing exercises. This is done to help you relax, tune into your breathing and bring your mind-body awareness to the present (thus creating higher pleasure points during the sensual activities).

Take a good 15 mins or more to do breathing exercises before setting into the yoni massage ritual. During this breathing exercise, both you and your partner can even play some nice relaxing meditation music and then later, if you wish, can switch to some music that is more on a sensual note. 

Step 2 - Position, Getting 'Emotionally Naked' & Massage Oils

1. Position for Yoni Massage - In yoni massage, the recipient will lie down and open the legs wide enough so that your partner can sit in between your legs. This will allow him to have a clear view of your yoni - very important as yoni massage is an hour (or more) long massage and it involves massaging and touching all points within a yoni.

You can also place pillows so raise your hips - the pelvic area if that creates more pleasure for you and is easier for your man to dive deep into the giver mode! 

2. Getting Naked - As you undress your body, you can make this into a ritual. You can say your own affirmations that metaphorically emphasize you leaving everything behind and only bringing your honesty, relaxation and desire to be loved and accepted (as you are the receiver).

I KNOW how so many women have negative body image issues and many women are completely out of touch with their sexuality. They have completely lost touch with their feminity, sexual needs, their breasts, and their yoni...

So, try these affirmation rituals if you are one of them and it will help you a lot. 

So, as you undress yourself and take each piece of cloth off, you can say powerful words like - 

"I now leave behind all my false beliefs and take out negative body image issues and leave them behind"

"I deserve to be held in a beautiful sacred intimate space with my lover and I now say yes to receiving all his love!"

"I love my body and I allow my lover to show me his love as I get ready to receive it - from his heart to mine"

And so on..I hope these help you make this yoni massage experience more transformative and Soul fulfilling. Arrive at your yoni massage fully 'emotionally naked' as I say it.

Get ready to experience intense but beautiful emotions all at once - joy, tears, sadness, release, sensual, and so on! 

3. Massage Oils - You will need some sensual massage oil or oils. You can use a general massage oil as yoni massage starts with whole-body massage before it moves to the yoni area. So, ideally, you will go for nice aromatic sensual massage oil for the body and then pair it with some vaginal arousing oil (this will also help you with lubrication if you need help in that area).

Now that you have the candles, sexy bed sheets, towels, sensual music, massage oils and the right mindset, you can now start your yoni massage.

Step 3 - If Receiving a Yoni Massage from Your Partner (BEST Option!)

If you are receiving this from your partner, then know that it will allow him to connect deeply with you and your body while he is the giver and you the receiver. As he gives, it will allow you to relax and learn to be the receiver in this sacred ritual. As we humans (both men and women, but especially women who have lost touch with their feminine energy) have become more of doers, we struggle to just relax and receive love and care from our man.

1. Becoming the Receiver - This practice will deepen your love and trust in your partner and vice versa - so lie down and let him take care of you. Let him show you his love by connecting with your yoni - do NOT start giving him anything back in return. NO.

This is your time to receive as a woman so do not mess up this sacred yoni massage ritual. You will greatly enhance your feminine energy by allowing this ritual to happen as it must - you being the receiver of your man's love and care. 

2. Starting With Whole-Body Massage - The massage here starts with the whole-body massage as noted above. So, your partner will start with taking the oil and rubbing it on to your stomach, navel, lower belly and then moving up to breasts, nipples, back, hips, thighs, legs, hands, back and so on.

Do remember that in yoni massage yoni is NOT the first area - rather the last. This is a very important point so remember that. You do not want to get aroused by yoni stimulation as you will reach the climax and none of this will last. 

3. Getting to Yoni - In yoni massage, no penetration is necessary. The only penetration you can enjoy is fingering. Let your partner start with circling the clitorisis gently. Massage the vagina and the vulva - including a few minutes on the outer and inner lips of the vagina. Let him massage around the clitorisis and let him divert the sexual energy if you get too aroused.

In that case, let him massage other body areas and then come back to your yoni. If you get too aroused, ask your partner to move to other areas to avoid orgasm - let the massage continue for as long as possible.

4. Ending Your Yoni Massage - if you (and your partner) decide it is better to release the sexual tension now, then be it. If not, then rest and enjoy the relaxing music with your partner or by yourself.

Yoni Massage Tips for Solo Pleasure -

Just because you choose to do it by yourself, there is no reason to not create the right ambience or to not follow the sacred rituals. Do all the above points and when finally massaging your yoni, cultivate some patience and self-love while enjoying sensual pleasures and deeply connecting with your yoni. 

Note on Emotions -

Yoni massage may bring out a lot of stuck emotions. Those who carry lot of sexual trauma, heavy childhood memories, toxic divorce/marriages, miscarriages, abusive sexual past or patterns, etc. - all these may come out via heavy emotions - but those that need to be released and are standing in your way between experiencing true emotional and sexual intimacy with someone.

So, I highly advise you to give time to yourself and sit in silence for a long time after these practices. If you have a loving caring partner, then talk to him and let him know in advance that this might happen later on and you would like his love and support. After all, what could be better than to have a loving caring partner that gives you a yoni massage and then cuddles with you in bed after that?

Getting a Yoni Massage from Tantric Professional -

If the above two options don't appeal to you and you would still like to experience yoni massage, then your last option would be to find a reliable, trustworthy Tantric professional who does yoni massages.

This part can be tricky so be very careful as IF anything were to go wrong (since this is not just a regular whole-body therapeutic massage but also involves our most private organs - our sexual organs), then it could leave a scar too heavy to deal with later on.

When trying to find a Tantric yoni massage professional, consider these points -

1. Search on Google and see some reviews. Are they legit and how many reviews are there to begin with (the more, the better). Then take time to call the centers and ask questions! Depending on how they respond and answer your questions, you will know if the place is safe and trustworthy. 

2. Word of mouth - The BEST option and safest one here! Talk to some friends who you trust deeply and see if they have any recommendations for such a place. That is the safest option for you!

Friends who are really open-minded, who understand women's health issues and are unconventional enough to have tried such a massage, and mature enough to be trusted are the ones you should seek out recommendations from. 

3. Once you have a good idea which massage center you would like to check out for your yoni massage, go there and ask to talk to the Tantric professional who would be actually doing your yoni massage (if you were to book it).

When meeting and talking to your (possible) yoni masseuse, ask questions and take time to connect with him or her first. This will give you a clear 'gut feeling' whether you can trust this individual and if you want to go ahead and book the massage now. 

4. Professional Tantric masseuse must have years of education, experience and a good reputation. Ask questions about this and verify by certificates (in the center).

5. There is NO SEX involved in a yoni massage session - so beware if your masseuse hints at this. The massage therapist is there for one and only one reason and that is to give you a professional yoni and whole-body massage - you and only you are the recipient and the masseuse is the giver. That is it - NO other exchange needs to take place in a true yoni massage.

6. In this also, communication is key! Set clear intentions, boundaries, and space so that this could be a sacred, transformative experience for you - just as intended. 

This is it! Perhaps, the MOST detailed article on the internet about the sacred Tantric yoni massage!

Feel free to share with other amazing women in your tribe and let them be empowered! 

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​To Yoni - the Ultimate Goddess!

-Somyata.