10 Things I Have Learned from My Life

Every year on my birthday, I contemplate what all I have learned in my life and what I need to release going forward. Here are 10 things I have learned that may help you. 

As it goes each year with my birthday, I spend the whole month pampering myself, celebrating myself AND contemplating what I want to do in the coming year and onwards.

Nawww...One day is not enough for me - I want more! More days...more time to pamper myself and celebrate myself, and to do different meditations to retrain my mind so it can achieve the dreams that I have coming up in the new God-given year of my life.

I also spend the whole month contemplating who or what I want to keep in my life going forward and what all I need to release going forward..

My life is very simple, plain, monotonous and there is nothing glamorous about it - NO fake parties or fake values - just real stuff backed by doing meaningful things daily.

As I have always said, one thing my life has had for sure is 'meaning' - that is, meaningful relationships, very deep conversations with amazing people who have crossed my path, extremely deep friendships, and of course - commitment to causes I deeply care about.

I have seen LOT of pain and trauma in my life and have heard LOT of stories drenched in deep sorrows, unbearable pain, dark secrets, unconventional truths and narratives that hold high stigmas or taboos - this all due to the extremely unconventional, amazing people who I have met throughout my life journey...so nothing shocks or surprises me and one day, I will detail this in my book.

And so here are just some 10 points I feel inclined to share with you today about life and what I have learned so far - my 2 cents...

Let's start...

1. IF you had a tough, painful dark childhood and you always felt alienated with your biological family (your parents and siblings), then this IS a sign that in this lifetime you are meant to do something more in this life and on this Earth - you have a purpose. Seeing the same pattern occur again and again with all the changemakers, the rebels and the ones who have ever changed the history of this planet - you will see their story is the same. They all had a very rough childhood, were suicidal at many points in their life and always felt that they don't belong on this planet, yet they are the ones who were given a greater purpose - big or small, you are meant to do something more than pay bills and live the mundane life!

2. Marriage - It can make or break your life! It can give you the wildest support of your life where you feel safe, understood and loved. If gone wrong, it can be the most toxic aspect of your life and can ruin your potential, dreams, health, and self-worth. If you are not married, DON'T rush into marriage too fast - choose wisely and move slow. Moving slowly will give you peace and assure you long-term success with your partner. I have seen both toxic as well as amazing marriages - both are two opposite ends of the spectrum and I can tell you that marriage is one thing that can either make or break your life...choose wisely.

3. MOST of us here on this planet at this time and history are severely wounded. We come from toxic homes, useless parents - parents who were/are adult children, who never learned to deal with their trauma so they passed it onto us - the next generation and we are left to heal our wounds on our own.

Where we should have received love, safety, kindness, forgiveness - we got the exact opposite. Most people got the cruel words, physical abuse, sexual abuse and were told to keep their emotions to themselves - hence, never learning how to cope with intense emotions and how to function and collaborate in healthy relationships.

THIS is the reason why for the first time in history of this planet, we have diseases skyrocketing, high divorce rates, mental and emotional disorders, anxiety, suicide, depression, addictions, etc. skyrocketing at an all time high. People are struggling to deal with their trauma, their childhood wounds....while simultaneously carrying the burdens of their present day responsibilities; in short, they are overwhelmed because the baggage is too heavy and too big and they do not know how, when and where to begin the healing journey from. 

4. In life, IF you have found just ONE person who understands you to the core - withOUT you having to speak or tell how you are feeling all the time, then trust me - you have won life's greatest lottery! You do not need anything else - everything else from that point on is just extra blessings...

Having gone through a tough life myself AND having talked to so many people about their trauma and pain, I can tell you one thing for sure -

-when people find someone who understands them, they change! Period. Their heart space starts opening up, they are inspired to be a better person, they have more confidence and they smile more and shine differently. They start showing up in life.

-they are able to talk about their trauma and deepest darkest secrets - completely uninhibited and they feel safe for the first time..

This is because we all are hungry to be understood by someone - someone who gets us, becomes our safe place where we can be 100% ourselves and with whom we can share our deepest darkest truths withOUT needing to hold back, where we feel heard and seen for who we are and we can let go of our masks - away from this crazy world!

5. If your inner core - your RAW material... meaning what you are made up of since birth - if this does not match with your parents, siblings, relatives, etc. then it will never match because both parties are different in their raw make-up. That relationship will struggle and might be OK at the surface level but nothing more will ever be there - don't waste time on it too much. Take the best and leave the rest with such people - these relationships will never take off beyond the shallow surface and that is good enough for this lifetime.

6. Friends - You MUST cultivate a friends' circle as that is one of the BEST things in life. I have had the most amazing, rebellious, unconventional friends throughout my life journey and it is my friends who have kept me going at many points in my life and I have done the same for them. You just need one or few good friends to navigate life more easily and make it more fun with beautiful memories.

7. Learn to categorize people in your life - I have written about this in my 'About My Cancer' story (click above on 'About' tab). Learn to categorize people in 3 categories so your mind is clear and so your mind can focus on your dreams, goals, etc. and bring more fruitful relationships/friendships in your life and also so you have peace.

The 3 categories are -

-those who are toxic and must be cut-off immediately

-those who you want to or have to keep (family/relatives) but will keep at n degrees of distance

-those who are 100% 'your people' (your true soul tribe - the ones you know for sure have got your back and support you)

8. Your ability to help others or reach their heart space, beyond their heart walls - will be as rich or empty as your communication skills.

You can even be an empath, an intuitive and a healer - a very powerful combination - point blank but it is all useless unless and until you know how to penetrate beyond people's heart space - the walls and get straight to the core. For this, you need exceptional communication skills and you will need extremely high intuition to know when and how to do this work - when and how to intersect their energy and when to pull back.

Use your time on this Earth to help people - to heal them specifically. You are here for something more - use your gifts wisely and use them to help heal people, to help build them up and bring them out of the darkness.

But for this, you will need exceptional communication skills - people are dying or should I say, starving to be healed from their prisons so if you can contribute to this, you are healing the collective consciousness of this planet!

Build your communication skills and use them to help others - it will also make your life very rich and you will also grow a lot as you interact with people and learn of their deepest darkest secrets and their trauma. It's a beautiful gift both ways!

9. Confidence and Dreams - If you have confidence and your sense of 'Self' is very strong, trust me - the world will chase you! You do NOT need to go anywhere, you do not need to move mountains or be famous - everything will come to you instead. Have confidence in yourself and leave the rest.

Work on your self-growth and don't ever give up on your dreams - they were put in your heart for a reason. Work on your dreams and know that it takes a lot of time, effort, energy, love and struggles to make it big in your dreams but it will all be worth it one day - no matter what your dream is or how big or small it is.

Just start where you are - start at the grassroots level and that will guide you to your true passions in life. We do not come here on this Earth to just enjoy or go to clubs, get drunk or be a couch potato and live life mindlessly - no. We come here to improve the conditions of this planet so don't give up on your dreams especially if they are about improving the world.

One of the worst things I have seen time and time again are regrets that people hold in their heart over lost time and lost dreams - it is toxic, heavy and ruins them to realize that they gave in to society's or family's standards of what they should be doing but did not listen to the callings of their heart - their Soul.

So nurture your self confidence and your dreams.

10. IF you have had a troubled life, if you have had struggles all alone and so on - in life, you will have to adapt many times and change according to the need of the hour. But that is OK - however, never lose your morals, ethics, values, and who you truly are beyond the surface...beyond all that pain and trauma.

Don't give up on your values just because the world is doing something different - be resilient and fight hard to 'preserve' your true self - hold on to your true self...don't give in no matter who makes fun of you, who insults you or your 'old-fashioned' values. Nope.

So that is my 2-cents here for today!
​
Love & Light,
-Somyata

Thoughts Shared By Some of My  Wonderful Readers on This Article Email (via email) -

Wow, Somya!!  This is powerful!  You are right on target with what you are sharing and I know it will touch and move people who need this encouragement!!
And so glad you had a deeply reflective and pampering birthday month 
You'll inspire me to consider that approach to my birthday in November :)
Warmly,
Angela

Hi Somya
Happy Belated Birthday!!!
That wasn’t two-cents, it was more like a dollar  
I think it’s important to be the light!!!
Jane

WOW
Your wisdom is beyond the ordinary mind
I can see your book will be a best seller
Wishing you and your pooches so much love - Cala

Needed that! Thanks wise friend.
Peace & love,
Libby

Hey you, happy birthday!  I didn't know but now I do!
-Charlie

You are a wonderful soul, human being, writer....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish to write that Neha I am in love with you - Anonymous

"Wow, such an amazing article, we are all here for a greater purpose, it just takes us all to go back to our initial trauma to discover who we really are. I was so moved by your article, truly touched my soul and your web page is amazing, I look forward to receiving your newsletters. Thank you for sharing your journey and wisdom. 🙏 ❣" - Janet E.

"Happy belated Birthday Somyata. Sorry, for commenting late. Yes, you have aptly described various things ranging from our childhood, parents, siblings, marriage, friends and so on. Yes, you have rightly said that in this life journey we are presented with different challenges ranging from our relations, emotions, traumas, health issues and so on. And, we as individuals are also at different stages of inner evolution and every one is acting or interacting accordingly. And, each experience if taken with some detachment and as something which was there to give some awareness and uplifting - it helps in moving on along with your own emotional upgradation. I think you can feel proud for the way you have evolved as an empathetic human being. Your love and kindness towards animals and your spirit for bringing awareness about health issues is an inspiration to many. Thanks so much for sharing your insights on human behaviour and human evolution towards compassion and happiness. Wishing you all the best in life and wish you a happy New Year." - Anuradha G.

Well said and described Somyata Saxena. This lesson is learnt in most of our lives." Ranjith K

Thoroughly loved the article!!!!! Somyata Saxena
I resonated with each point you mentioned. ♥️

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